The Mandatory Silence

Sometimes I keep silent and I imagine myself responding to something that is said to me in person and then I imagine your reaction to it. And I may concurrently but absentmindedly laugh about something you just said, a little too loudly or smirk so strongly that my eyes begin to water because I am now trying so hard to stifle my bursting out laughing; you think I found your quip that funny and so you’re elated.

No, my conscious mind didn’t even hear what you said. So you ask me something about what you said and I don’t seem to know what you’re talking about. You probably call me weirdo in your head and hope I don’t read your mind and find out that you just did. Then you say something else to dispel the air of awkwardness we just had in the group conversation.

So, as I lie in bed to retire for the day, I suddenly burst out, laughing my head off just because I now remember the joke you shared which I was supposed to laugh at in the afternoon.

I almost fall off my bed triggered by someone laughing out so hardly next door at the hostel.

The mind is a strange thing.

I have been dreaming all this while.

[Author’s note:
Written Wednesday 18th March, 2015. I thought about the phrase ‘mandatory silence’ randomly and these words came to me which I tweeted as I was moved. I then read through it several times and did what I had to before I thought it cool to share it with you.]



  1. Akotowaa said,

    November 23, 2015 at 8:51 pm

    But why is the silence mandatory?

    • O'Zionn said,

      November 23, 2015 at 9:01 pm

      I don’t remember how that random thought (phrase) came to mind, but I’ve realised that silence (even when I need to talk) keeps my imagination very much alive; I’m able to observe things way better. It’s kind of mandatory for me if I need to pick up on things in my surroundings.

      • Akotowaa said,

        November 23, 2015 at 9:08 pm

        I see. đŸ™‚
        I came to a similar realization a while ago.

      • O'Zionn said,

        November 23, 2015 at 9:16 pm

        Cool :).

        And how was your realisation like?

      • Akotowaa said,

        November 23, 2015 at 9:20 pm

        It was a transition from speaking freely, to realising no one was listening and being resentful, to silencing myself for sulky reasons, to coming to genuinely enjoy acquiring what I learned from observance.

        Long things.

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